Life Lately | 02

This should have been posted last August 01, 2020 around 8:50PM.

Whenever people ask me kung kumusta na ba ako, I always replied, “Okay lang.” “Okay lang naman ako.”

And someone asked me, “musta ka naman dyan?” And I replied, “Kumusta na nga ba ‘ko?”

That hits me. Kumusta na nga ba ako in the real sense of it.

So here’ s my life lately.

It’s almost half of 2020. August na. Maya-maya lang 30 years old na ‘ko. (OMG!)

So yeah, how’s my life at the start of the year? Or how’ s my 2020 so far? A lot happened! As in! Pandemic. Lockdown. New normal. New lifestyle. New life routine. Closure from the past. And everything else.

Start of the year is a blast. Why? Because someone important to us came back. Inay is so happy. Tatay is here. Finally! After 10 years I think of not being with us, andito na siya ulit. Bit awkward at first, kasi hindi ako sanay na he’s around. But as long as inay is happy, then I’m good. I know I’ll get used to it soon and I know I’ll get there.

Taal happened.

Then COVID-19 happened. Damn. I never imagined that I would get to experience this global pandemic. You know, lockdown. Minimal movements, a mask is a must. Mass gathering is a no-no. No leisure activities. No travel diaries this 2020, I guess. From ECQ to GCQ to MECQ and MGCQ, oh boy name it! This 2020 is crazy!

And then this someone from the past who got to say sorry and tell his reason why left back then. Though his reason is still quite vague to me, it’s fine. As long as he is sorry for what he’d done, it’s all good. I just want him to be happy.

And I’m starting to open up to other people. I can now somehow tell my stories to them bit by bit.

All in all, I would say that I’m doing totally fine. Though may mga changes sa life routine ko, like hindi ako everyday nakakauwi sa bahay dahil nga sa COVID-19 na ‘to, it’ s okay. Kahit na wala masyadong gala or wala talaga, okay lang. Kahit napostponed yung pagpunta ko sa concert ng Ben&Ben sa Clark, okay lang. Kahit na walang travel goals, okay lang. Kahit na wala pa rin akong jowa, okay lang. (HAHAHAHA) Kahit na mukhang dito ko sa apartment, magse-celebrate ng birthday ko, okay lang.

There are still a lot of things to be grateful for. Walang nagkakasakit sa family ko. I still have my job. I still able to pay my bills. Seriously, I’m happy and well.

So, for the question “Kumusta ka na nga ba?”, my answer is, though may mga moments na nadi-disappoint ako, napu-frustrate ako at times, umiiyak ako minsan, I’m doing well.

This twenty-something gal is still happy, still loved and still beyond grateful! 💛

P. S. This 2020, I also got my first tattoo. (on my next blog soon)

Behind Those Pages

This lil notebook sums up my whole 2011. I browsed it earlier today and I realized that my 2011 is about my college life, finding a job and dismantling feelings over someone.

I ran through the pages and I found out that this journal has a roller coaster of emotions. There’s so much in it.

There’s joy when we got our thesis signed and approved. In addition to that, it is the year I graduated with flying colors and the year that I got my first job. It is damn satisfying that you achieved some things.

This book also contains depression. Why? Let’s admit it, it’s not easy to find a job and where you fit in and honestly, I’ve got my first job not that quick. It took me months to have one. I juggled from one place to another just to submit job applications. I’ve rejected many times before I got hired. It’s quite depressing when people surrounding you are pressuring you at times. Didn’t they know that I’m trying my best? But in spite of those, I’m always reminding myself that I should not give up. Yeah, I may be struggling now but it does not mean that I should quit. As long as I’m trying my best, as long as I not quitting, then I’m not a loser nor a failure.

This journal also knows my sorrow. Sorrow that my friends and I will part ways to find our own place in the real world. Not just that, sorrow about some family problems and sorrow about a love drifted away.

Honestly, he’s been very special to me and it’s quite funny that I’ve invested so much feelings for him. As I read what I’ve written back those years, it seems that even though he left me hanging, just a call from him and I’m out of my league again. I’m ready to give in again. I’m ready to take him back again. It’s way back then, but now it’s all over between us. I must accept that I just met him for a reason and that reason maybe is to have my heart broken into tiny pieces. Yes, he still holds a special place in my heart, I still miss him, I still cared for him, but I don’t want him back. I know better now.

Why would I take back the person who just sees me as an option? Why would I take back the person who just knew me when everything went wrong? Why would I take back the person who was just taking me for granted? Why would I take back the person who left me without telling me the reason is?

And of course, this journal knows my way of letting go and moving on. I’m always encouraging myself so that I can be better. I can do so much more.

Now, it’s already 2015, four years had passed and here I am, blessed and happy for what I have now. I’m contented for what’s here in the moment and at the same time, I’m working on my other plans towards my bigger dreams.

Way to go!

the sunday currently | 03

It’s Sunday again, the last Sunday of August actually and I must say that this month has been good for me. T’was awesome, happy and blessed.

This Sunday, I am

Reading the on-going story by Jonaxx in wattpad (hihi) entitled Give In To You.

Thinking about so many things like when will I go to Makati to pursue applying abroad, does AlDub becoming real, yung mga ganyan.

Listening to Your Song by Parokya ni Edgar, I really love this one not just because of the melody but because of the lyrics as well. Sunday is also #SentiSunday.

Wishing that I could turn back time (artiiiii, hahaha) no, but kidding aside, yeah I wish I could. Kasi kung kaya ko, ibabalik ko yung panahon para di maghiwalay ang nanay at tatay ko, ibabalik ko yung panahon para maayos ang direksyon ng buhay ng kuya ko, ibabalik ko yung panahon para makapagdesisyon ng mas tama. (#hugoooot)

Hoping to get my track back, you know what I mean, I’m always saying na sana makabalik na ko sa hospitality industry at mapractice ko na ulit yung course ko.

Wearing my You Love Me shirt and pajamas.

Loving what I have right now, where I am right now, yeah I always wanted to have a better job but I can’t deny the fact that somehow, I enjoyed and loved what I’m doing.

Wanting to have my own house, my own car, my own resto bar. (Longterm goals, huh!)

Needing massage.

Feeling blessed and delighted. (As always)

My First… … …

Aside from this simple blog of mine, I do have my own little diary, and as far as I remembered, I’ve written that 2015 will be a fearless year, and it’s going to be a braver me. I also written that this year is all about going to places I’ve never been to, it’s about taking risks and taking chances. So far, everything is going fine, I’ve come to experience some things that are really my FIRSTS.

I just achieved my first trekking experience on Mt. Gulugod-Baboy in Mabini, Batangas. It’s kind of tiring but it’s all worth it. You just got to love the view, the whole municipality of Mabini and even Bauan, the wide blue ocean and the cool breeze that just caresses your skin. How relaxing the feeling is. At the top, I feel how close I am to nature. I appreciate the beauty of nature and the beauty of Batangas more. Indeed, God is really a great painter. He’s really a genius.

I’ve been to many beaches and resorts, but this is also my first time to experience this photo op in this amazing rock formation in the middle of the sea. This one’s also in Mabini. See how beautiful Batangas is!! What makes this experience more awesome is because I have Bea with me. (the pretty girl behind me in the photo). She’s just adventurous as I am.

In my twenty-four years, this is really my first time witnessing such a gorgeous sunset. The feeling is just so surreal that I just witness how everything that surrounds me is slowly embraced by a yellow-orange hue.

As I watched how the sun sets in its haven, I just come to realize that God has so many ways to remind us that life always offers new chances and new beginnings.

It is also my first time experiencing the famous Pahiyas Festival in Lucban Quezon. Every house was designed with different Lucban’s products making it colorful. All the people in Lucban really made an effort to make Pahiyas such beauty. In this festival, you can see plenty of fruits and vegetables such as string beans, pineapples, aubergines, lady’s finger and a lot more.

One of Lucban’s pride is their kiping. It is actually made of rice that is molded in a leaf-like shape in different colors. This was really my first time to taste this so called kiping. It can be fried or grilled. Amazing, right?

This was taken in Kamay ni Hesus in Quezon, it is just so humbling and blessed experience to reach the giant image of Jesus at the grotto after climbing the less than 500 steps of stairs on the way to the top.

This is one hell of a ride, the Space shuttle in Enchanted Kingdom, everyone. I’m always saying that I will never ride this one, as in never, I don’t know what’s gotten into us when we just joined those people waiting to have a ride in this thing. As the crew fixes our safety belts, I feel like ‘Noooo, I want out!!’. But at the same time, I feel like ‘This is it!’ As the space shuttle comes to life, I just scream my heart out to the highest level. It feels like you just don’t care at all, you just hang on with your dear life. After that one freaking ride, my world just turned upside down. I felt dizzy and the only way to get my normal self was just a cup of ice cream. Crazy!

This is my first to explore one of the beaches in Sariaya, Quezon, the Villa Prado. We just enjoyed everything, their minions, billiards, slide, the pool, all of it.

Indeed, these experiences really need to be treasured. I just love that I got a taste of these precious moments. Always find time to relax. Always find time to celebrate and enjoy life. Godspeed.